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Ponderings on Public Parenting and loss of a busmate
So a while ago there was an article about a mom who took her little boy to Walmart with a pink head band on. Details here:
http://www.carbonated.tv/lifestyle/how-a-pink-headband-at-walmart-led-to-a-moms-harrowing-experience
What the man in the story did was horrendous! He should not have done that!
One of the ideas I got from reading the article and people's comments though is the idea that one should never touch an unknown child. Without thinking I found myself going along with it until yesterday I read this article:
http://www.nytimes.com/books/98/10/18/specials/kingsolver-hers.html
This description of the situation in Spain seems excellent. I've personally dealt with relatively little of the negative description of American reaction to children, but I have noticed the lack of interactions by many.
I think that culturally we have a tendency to say this one situation came up where this behavior was problematic no on should ever do this behavior. I know I've fallen into this trap. I hope that if the walmart incident had happened in a culture more like that described in Spain even if someone had behaved like the man in the story someone else would have stepped up to defend the child.
As part of our lifestyle, and our parenting practice we have developed several villages that Kosh benefits from. We've actively chosen and thought about our connections to church, Pryanksters, and biological family, but one that I originally didn't consider was our bus commute.
On the bus many riders don't interact with me or Kosh, and it's possible that some or many of them are silently unhappy that Kosh is along, but none have complained or displayed this that I've noticed.
However there are several that have positive interactions with Kosh, and me, but really Kosh is the driving factor.
This collection of bus buddies includes several drivers, and several regulars.
One of them was Liz. Liz was always friendly greeting many people as they got on the bus, and checking in on how people were doing. She had a lot of fun interactions with Kosh. She always sat in the seat closest to the door, because she walked with a cane. Frequently Kosh wanted that seat, and so we took one nearby, and they'd play the mine game. She read to him on a couple of occasions, and was generally friendly and interactive. She was an example of a great way to interact with other people's children.
Some months ago she stopped riding the bus. We heard that she had caught shingles. So we looked forward to her return, but yesterday I heard that she had passed away. She is missed, and Kosh and I are lucky to have known her.
http://www.carbonated.tv/lifestyle/how-a-pink-headband-at-walmart-led-to-a-moms-harrowing-experience
What the man in the story did was horrendous! He should not have done that!
One of the ideas I got from reading the article and people's comments though is the idea that one should never touch an unknown child. Without thinking I found myself going along with it until yesterday I read this article:
http://www.nytimes.com/books/98/10/18/specials/kingsolver-hers.html
This description of the situation in Spain seems excellent. I've personally dealt with relatively little of the negative description of American reaction to children, but I have noticed the lack of interactions by many.
I think that culturally we have a tendency to say this one situation came up where this behavior was problematic no on should ever do this behavior. I know I've fallen into this trap. I hope that if the walmart incident had happened in a culture more like that described in Spain even if someone had behaved like the man in the story someone else would have stepped up to defend the child.
As part of our lifestyle, and our parenting practice we have developed several villages that Kosh benefits from. We've actively chosen and thought about our connections to church, Pryanksters, and biological family, but one that I originally didn't consider was our bus commute.
On the bus many riders don't interact with me or Kosh, and it's possible that some or many of them are silently unhappy that Kosh is along, but none have complained or displayed this that I've noticed.
However there are several that have positive interactions with Kosh, and me, but really Kosh is the driving factor.
This collection of bus buddies includes several drivers, and several regulars.
One of them was Liz. Liz was always friendly greeting many people as they got on the bus, and checking in on how people were doing. She had a lot of fun interactions with Kosh. She always sat in the seat closest to the door, because she walked with a cane. Frequently Kosh wanted that seat, and so we took one nearby, and they'd play the mine game. She read to him on a couple of occasions, and was generally friendly and interactive. She was an example of a great way to interact with other people's children.
Some months ago she stopped riding the bus. We heard that she had caught shingles. So we looked forward to her return, but yesterday I heard that she had passed away. She is missed, and Kosh and I are lucky to have known her.
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I hope your community stands strong and long. She was old enough that I imagined my interaction with her wouldn't last a really long time since we only saw eachother on the commuter bus, but I'd hoped that we'd disconnect because she went off to a nice retirement.