kay_gmd: (fair)
So the gentle Groblek was like so have I missed you getting up to hit the exercise bike lately?  This morning.  Answer is no.  I haven't used the exercise bike since last Tuesday.  I gave blood later Tuesday, and I used the knowledge that they were going to tell me not to exercise for a while to prod myself, and told myself that I'd get on the bike Friday and that would make my 2.  No such luck.  Don't even remember why.

I did go to yoga last week, so if I'm counting that I got my 2 times exercising in last week, and if not I need to pick up and get back on board.

Monday was a holiday, and I felt like crap.  A combination of allergies of doom and what appears to be a chest cold, and Kosh getting up not really early, but before I was ready for him to do so.  No exercise that wasn't part of getting somewhere.

I did yoga Tuesday, but still wasn't hitting the bike this morning.  I was feeling like getting away for the cube at lunch, so I got some dancing in my usual secluded spot (I'm apparently a bit closeted about solo dancing) was unavailable, and I may have to seek something else (there was a group from work playing bocci ball (I think) close enough to keep it from being secluded), but I found another one, and danced to 3 songs:
No Such Thing-Kathy Mar (slow gentle beat kinda short) very pretty, and sad song
Rufty Tufty-Newcastle Country Dancers (Pryankster disk) (easy ECD)
Goldfish in a Blender-Mary Carves the Chicken (alternative country?) I really enjoyed this group when I lived in Tracy it's like liberal country with a dose of reality.

I find ghosting 3 for Rufty I seem to switch gender in the dance.

I'm back on FB I think I'm still on less than before lent, but it's good to see how some of the folks I don't see elsewhere are doing.

I'm finding judgement creeping in on my internal monologue again, but I'm working on it.

I got an app in for a Spec II job that I think I'd be good at on March 15th, but I haven't heard anything back yet.  I also need to figure out how to test for Spec II. (The job would take a Spec I, which suggests that if I went in as a Spec I (my current label) I could expect an in place promotion once I was eligible, while it is possible that this could happen in my current position it seems unlikely, I will have to ask about it though).

I've been enjoying reintroducing myself to sweets since Easter.  I'm trying to keep my daily dosage low, and I haven't done exactly what I described to myself, but I'm still doing reasonably well.  I knew having a little would be harder for me than having none.  I may have to make the break from sweets a normal thing.  I don't think it really fills a spiritual space for me, but I could stick with the post Christmas/New Year's through Lent.  Will see.

I've got a bit of writing swirling around in my head.  Nothing I'm going to put out for the world anytime soon, but it's something to let the brain twiddle on while other things need doing, and hopefully get down somewhere.
kay_gmd: (fair)
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrgh! I had most of a thoughtful post written up Friday when I realized I had to leave to get Kosh and catch the bus. I was hopeful that the autosave function or doing a quick copy before shutting down would have saved it, but no. It's gone. I'll have to try to recreate it.

The first part was about spider love. http://www.zenparentingradio.com/archive/love-is-it-real-or-fake/ This show talked about genuine love, and spider love. I think that this is something I have to fight. Groblek does an amazing job of catching me when I'm doing spider love things, and making me actually express myself and let him know what I need.

Then I was listening to this on Talk of the Nation, and I thought it was really thought provoking. http://www.npr.org/2013/03/04/173440431/op-ed-theres-an-app-for-everything-and-thats-a-problem
I think it's an interesting thing to think about. I think in general apps can be amazing tools, but it is important to be aware of why you're using it. I think it is also important to put down all of our devices and get out and experience life.

Then I was reading this http://everydayfeminism.com/2013/03/silenced-stories-of-survivors-of-sexual-assault-and-abortions/?upw

I'm pro-choice I totally agree that she should have the right to have the abortion, and do so without being harassed. However, because she self identifies as a college educated reasonably comfortable women with good health insurance, I found myself really annoyed that she didn't appear to use birth control.

I'm troubled by this response in myself. It says to me that this is one of those things that EVERYONE SHOULD HAVE THE RIGHT TO DO, but isn't for me. Which is about the way I managed to think about being gay right up until I came out to myself. What does it say that it is okay, but other. Is that acceptance or tolerance.

I was somewhere in the middle of the last bit when I had to leave Friday.

In New stuff to read and share:
Go get it. Read it. Enjoy it and explore the rest of the universe. This is one of the series Groblek and I really like.  The authors aren't local, but we did get to meet them when we got to go to World Con.  They're supper lovely people, and you can follow Sharron Lee at the link, and both of them on facebook.

This is one of several good entry points.  This is an amazing series!  We have all of it, and may be able to lend out books if you get hooked and can't afford to buy them all.

There's a cancer research looking for volunteers.  There are chances to participate in Sac and Davis in early April, and elsewhere as well.  Let's help science work.


General check in:
Judgement has sort of fallen into the back brain.  I'm really just not getting my hands around how to address this.

Exercise is going well.  I've been adding a bit of dancing into my lunch break in the last week, and I really enjoy the idea of keeping it up.  Missed today, but maybe Wednesday (Tuesday's yoga)

I'm underwhelmed by giving up facebook.  I'm not having trouble with it, but it seems like I was wasting a lot of time there, and the result hasn't been to get any of that time back.  I think my attention span has expanded, and I'm happy with that.  I'm probably going to be back after Easter, but not as active.

Giving up sweets.  Still going strong.  This moved to Lent because it was always meant to be temporary and it gives me a handy frame.  I'm looking at limiting myself to one serving of sweets per day once I hit the end of Lent.
kay_gmd: (fair)
Kosh has discovered the "joy" of being Twoish.  That is he's not 2 yet, but he's embracing the concept like an underage frat boy embraces drinking.

He's being loudly bossy, and clearly enjoying doing things that he knows he's not supposed to.  Anyone with spare patience or wisdom is encouraged to send it my way.  Groblek can make his own request. 

We'll work on helping him to make good choices.

This Thursday we got to practice about a half hour early like we normally do (it's when the bus drops us off).  so we were sitting in the green round chair having a bit of dinner when a nice young man (LabWorker) stopped to admire Kosh and chat.  LabWorker hung around while Kosh insisted on heading downstairs and out front of Haring where we caught Groblek heading in, and then headed back up to the practice room and got into almost all of the dances until he had to leave at 8:40 (we had a low turnout so we focused on dances that the newer dancers could do).  He seemed to have a good time and gave us his email to sign him into the yahoo groups.

Quick Resolution update:
Exercise on board I got on the exercise bike less than I wanted to this week, but still got in at least 2 rides
Sweets doing okay the weekend may be a test will see.
Judgement has been tested a bit. I'm beginning to ponder when my behavior invites behaviors that I might judge someone for.
kay_gmd: (fair)
I skipped the bike yesterday because I was feeling icky, and took it light, but did get on this morning.  Officially that covers me for the week, but I may try to get on again before Monday.

I haven't been thinking much on the judgement.  I'm not sure if this is me being less judgmental, or if I'm less aware.  I think I'll work to upgrade my awareness, and see what happens.

Starting Tuesday the hanging resolution (giving up sweets) is in effect.  I specifically decided to hold off on starting this until all holiday related sweets were out of the household.  So far I've been reasonably successful.

I had nutter butters and cracker jacks today, but I'm okay with this because it is a regular once in a while thing.  I gave blood today, and I usually get cracker jacks and some other snacky bit from the snack table when I give blood.

Incidentally I really love that we have regular blood drives at work.  It means I've given a lot more blood than I would have otherwise.

The major workload I've been anticipating just failed to materialize.  We were anticipating 30-50 proposals to examine, and we got 9.  This does mean we'll have a good deal of work related to figuring out what to do about the lack of response, but my specific screening goal should go way down.

I'm kind of hoping not to be involved in further work on this particular project, but I do need to seek out more work at work.


Jan. 22nd, 2013 12:45 pm
kay_gmd: (fair)
So back on the bike this morning.  Groblek did a bout of intervals over the weekend, so I thought I'd give it a try.  It totally kicked my butt.

Some time last week my wrist started getting twingey, but I figured it would go away.

We had an busy weekend.

Saturday had the game I'm not in hosted at our place, and while gamers were busy I took Kosh shoppies.  He's just about out grown his shoes, so we hit R&R and SPCA.  We found a good pair of boots that will be good for when it's wet, but we want to keep him in soft soles as much as possible, and no luck there, so we need to order some see Kai run's online.  I'll have to delegate that since their page is blocked at work.  We found a couple of new toys and books, and I found a new shirt.

The 1st ed game happened Sunday, and Bormina (my character) helped convince the surviving females of the party to drag all the dead males to town, to get those who wished it brought back.

Monday we met up with the Rock Star Baby and her parents to go to the Railroad museum.  That makes 3 weeks in a row for Josh.

Sprinkled between these activities we acquired a roommate.  Since Alurodragon and IOU9 moved out we enjoyed having the house to ourselves, but the budget encourages us not to leave a room empty.  Luckily one of our friends is delighted to move to a more socially convenient location.  My inner toddler had decided to call him Truck DRIVer.  I have a good feeling about this working well.

The wrist is still twingey.  I stopped in at the doctor yesterday.  She thinks it's likely to be something work related, so I've started the process to see if I can do something more ergonomic there.  We'll see.
kay_gmd: (fair)
First I'm declaring amnesty for last week.  My mom was in town, and my routine was totally off.

On the other hand:
This week I started off today with 10 minute on the bike.  Hopefully I'm back into routine.
In exercise that don't count I've started a game of chase with Kosh.  I run and hide behind a tree, that either wouldn't hide him, or/and I poke my head out, and he chases me.  It gets both of us some exercise, and helps with the fairly regular goal of tiring Kosh out in prep to getting him to sleep.

I've mostly been thinking on the judgement thing:
I got some really good suggestions on facebook:
My SIL suggested that hanging around with people who aren't judgmental would help.  I think this must be true, although so far my observation is the counter example.  I had my annual physical (since it had been since 2010) last Monday, and the doctor who was generally pleasant and professional, got to talking about driving in traffic, and how awful (other) drivers were.  I found myself agreeing and exclaiming about how bad drivers were.  On further reflection, I'm pretty sure I've been that driver for many of the complaints discussed.  So I was actively judgmental in the conversation, but I rescinded internally afterwards, and put some thought into it.  I think the raised awareness will be a benefit to me.

[livejournal.com profile] wondermentalist suggested cutting myself some slack in that we can't really be harder on ourselves than we are on others.

I think she's right, but I don't want to lower my standards for myself.  One of the things that Methodists are exhorted to do is move continually to perfection.  It's always resonated with me.  On the other hand I can look at what I'm judging myself on, and examine if it does reflect moving towards perfection. 

At the same time as far as external judgement however this is still useful, especially since I know that [livejournal.com profile] wondermentalist has some high standards for herself, is to assume that everyone has similarly stringent, but differently framed standards for themselves, so while I'm looking at someone and thinking OMG I can't believe they're using 5 paper towels for that, they're turning and looking at me and thinking OMG I can't believe she's letting her rinsed cup drip for hopefully more important standards.

More pondering, and a LOT more practice necessary.

No movement on the career front although one of my co workers is testing my judgmental resolution, and making me more likely to move forward on the career resolution.  I really miss our old attorney, and not just because I liked her.  She was much easier to work with, and apparently had an amazing store of knowledge, and she was better about making sure she knew what she was talking about before she started talking, and somehow this didn't involve long waits for her to start discussing an item.  I know the new guy is new to this position, he only started in August, so he's even newer than me, and I know that we pile a lot on our attorneys, and I can't even begin to fathom the complexity of the law involved, so I'm sure that he's very intelligent, and a good attorney.  I've just been spoiled by a line of attorneys who I worked better with, and I know I'm at least as hard to work with as he is.
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