kay_gmd: (Default)
I learn all sorts of things as I parent Kosh, but today's lesson seemed particularly important.

Kosh is in a Spanish Immersion program. That means that instruction is primarily in Spanish. This is Kosh's second year, but we didn't do nearly as much as we should have over the summer to maintain the language, and Maestra V has a different approach than Maestra D (Kosh's kindergarten teacher). I think both approaches are great, but Kosh is having trouble behaving because Kosh doesn't understand, and thus can't participate.

First mad props to Kosh. I haven't heard anything from Maestra V about this. Kosh brought it up, so I suspect that Kosh's behavior isn't that bad, and isn't that different from other students. So kudos for bringing up the issue to Kosh. Even if it took a few days for us to dig out why the behavior was happening. Kosh's first suggestion seemed more like a symptom than the problem.

So this morning had me emailing Maestra V to see if there were a few words or phrases we could work with Kosh on so that Kosh could more fully participate, and be more likely to behave.

While writing this I realized that this is exactly what non-English speaking students experience when they start school in our schools, except their parents are less likely to feel empowered to ask for help from the teacher, and likely would need help making the teacher understand the problem.

This isn't anything I couldn't have figured out, but it's much more concrete seeing it happen to my kid.

Also it helps understand more in depth. I hadn't thought about how not understanding could involve some physical acting out, because when I remember being bored in class was from older years when I'd read, or doodle, or talk to friends (not often). Kosh is likely flopping on the ground (the problem is coming up most during carpet time). This is likely involving bumping several classmates which could easily escalate.
kay_gmd: (fair)
Getting to Westercon
Read more... )

Con and Facility
Read more... )

Legoland!!!
Read more... )

I have more to write, but I don't know when if I'll get to it.Getting there )
kay_gmd: (fair)
I'm involved with a parent group online, and like so many while it is titled a parent group it is mostly a mommy group. There are daddys that post, but on this particular post none of the comments apppeared to be from males.

So the post was, and I'm being lazy and paraphrasing:

Argh my husband!
We're trying to have another kid, and I'm ovulating, and we need to have sex tonight or tomorrow night and I suggested sex tonight and he rolled over and went to sleep. He really wants another kid. I want to get it started now so I'm not in my 3rd trimester in the dead of summer. Needed to vent!


This fits well in this group, and seems reasoonable, but then we get into the comments. I know don't read the comments, but it's a facebook group, so half the conversation is there, and usually this group is mostly with the helpful advice and sympathy.

Comments included:
I would have jumped on, asleep or not

Poster:I've explained to him that al he has to do is lie there

Commenter A: Suggest preapproved "taking advantage of"

Poster:He's not getting off that easy

Me:trying to be sympathetic, but if we switched the gender on this it would sound rapey. i thought the rule was enthusiastic consent.

C.A: Does sound rapey. Only started when trying to have child. Even when I push it he could say no/indicate lack of interest. Explicit Consent is hard when your busy.

P: We are both consenting.

Further elaboration

P: not getting off that easy comment just a joke, sorry if I offended anyone else.


It was really this last that got me, and if you've made it this far I appreciate it.

Full disclosure i'm paraphrasing, and probably dropping a lot of the nuance of the conversation, and we didn't have any trouble at all conseiving Kosh.


I grew up in the 80-90s when political correctness was something that came up in conversation a lot more than it does now. It was akward, and it was taken to extremes like maternity leave (seperate from paternity leave) for men. But the pendulum swing on it can be dangerous, and in many areas like this one is more illustrative of a problem in the culture than we want to admit.

One issue is that even though something is intended as a joke that may not be clear to everyone interacting with it. This is especially true of the internet. You don't know whonwill see your joke,and if someone doesn't know it's a joke that someone might look at this as reinforcing a behavior, and that builds the cultural norms. This can be especially problematic around sex related interactions, and with racist, or any other ist you like jokes.

But more importantly what does it say when ts is how we joke?

How did it become funny to threaten someone, or belittle someone. What does it do to our culture, and show to our children when we use threats and insults to make ourselves happy?

This isn't all I wanted to say, but maybe it's enough to let me stop trying to compose it in my head.
kay_gmd: (fair)


Sorry sketched this out a month ago after questions about the pictures and just got around to posting it.  (Honk shooo is our standard for snoring care of Sandra Boyton).

Gratitude

Feb. 11th, 2015 02:52 pm
kay_gmd: (fair)
Kosh and I commute together on the bus.  The commute involves about a mile of walking. When I sprained my ankle I moved Kosh from the ergo to an umbrella stroller for the walking.  Lately we've been incouraging Kosh to walk, and yesterday Kosh decided he didn't need the stroller. So he walked the whole thing.  He did not enjoy all of it.  Near the end of the section from the bus stop to daycare he really wanted to be carried, and I wasn't a firm no on this, but I managed to encourage him to make it the rest of the way. This mostly involved reminding him of his standing incentive for walking, and encouraging him to view a raised curb as balance beam. I was thrilled that he walked the whole thing, but what I'm really grateful for is that periodically, when it wasn't required to cross the road, he'd just reach up and take my hand, and I just loved walking hand in hand with him.
kay_gmd: (fair)
I know it's been a while, but hey a long post : )

My baby boy is growing up. He'll be 3 end of February.
Pictures behind cut )



I started noticing this Friday.

At the bus stop another bus waiter was impressed with his articulation and the way I didn't speak down to him, and it made me think that I suspect that in the past I have considered my vocabulary and tried to use one that I thought he could follow, and I haven't been doing that, and he's usually able to understand if he wants to.

We got home, and he'd talked about wanting to play, so I dropped him off in the living room with his train table and favorite toys, and went to take care of some things.  I came back after about 10 minutes, and he'd taken a 12-14 (it's the engine of a train puzzle he's earning the whole puzzle's 48 pieces, but I think it's bigger than the tender, or caboose, the passenger car looks about the same size) large piece jigsaw puzzle off the shelf opened the box, and almost completed the puzzle.

First, it was only a short while ago when leaving him alone in the living room would not have been a thing, honestly more because he wouldn't put up with it than anything else! So, nice to know he's okay playing by himself!!

But really I was impressed with the puzzle.  He still asks for help if I'm there, but he can do it, and that's exciting.

Saturday we went to a buddy of his birthday and in a group of mostly older kids he had a blast.

Then Sunday I took him outside for some post nap running around.  It was close to evening because his nap started late, but he wanted to drive his car (Flintstones stile) to the park.  I love that we have parks in walking distance, but when I say that I mean my walking distance, and he picked the second closest park to home (0.4 miles per Google) I figured that he'd make it a block or two and decide he wanted to be carried and we'd turn around, which would get him some good exercise, and I could pull him in the car.
Not a bit of it.  He did switch to walking rather than driving a block and a half in, but he got all the way there.  When we got to where we could see the park he took off running, and would have been running around at the park for a good deal longer except that with the late start I limited him to a little over 10 min.  He even made a block on the way home before I started towing him.  This means we can start working on walking as part of the commute!  I'm excited about this, and so far he sounds excited about it, but we're not starting until this afternoon.  The morning's too rushed until we have a feel for speed of walking involved.

Bodies are weird

I've been working on doing a little more exercise, and have been tentatively pleased which is to say I seem to have more energy, and my speed seems to be getting better on my lunch time 2k with Zombies, Run!.
However, this does not seem to be having any kind of shrinking effect on my belly.  Not my actual goal, but I thought it might happen.  I was wearing a shirt that I wear all the time Sunday, and it was significantly more snug than I expected. Ah well today's shirt is doing fine.

Almond butter amazing and easy
In case you're wondering this discovery was made Sunday afternoon well after the shirt discovery.
I was get set up to pre-make the weeks lunches, and discovered we were almost out of peanut butter.  Back when peanuts were expected to go up in price Groblek stocked up, and even though that was years ago, and I'm aware that we've run through that supply I still expect there to be an unlimited supply in the garage.  In looking to see if there was a jar I'd missed I noticed a large quantity of raw almonds (Groblek's family grows for Blue Diamond, so almonds are frequently in supply at home).  I suggested almond butter and Groblek looked it up.  Instructions are: put almonds in the food processor and process for 20-30 min (faster if almonds are roasted).  So I threw a bunch of almonds in the oven, and then in the food processor.  (8 cups was a little much for our processor, but after a break to cool down it worked fine.) This produced one large and one small mason jar full of almond butter.

It is sooooo tasty! Sandwiches are better too.
kay_gmd: (fair)
So we planned for a day full of helping others Saturday.  CA House was having their move out/move in weekend and we'd signed up to help in the 10-2 shift on the theory that Kosh would nap right after we finished.  We showed up around 10, and there was nothing to do within half an hour we were told that we could head home.  We went to farmers market (closer) and told them to call us if they needed anything.  We enjoyed the market and park, and lunch at the nice at El Toro Bravo http://daviswiki.org/El_Toro_Bravo. ; No call.

After Kosh's nap 5:30 ish) we headed off to help a friend move, but she was no where to be found, and her phone wasn't working.  So we hit Leatherby's for dinner, and took Kosh to the Arden Fair Mall play area.

So no helping, but lots of fun, relaxing and tasty food.

Sunday was church at which Kosh relatively nicely asked to put in the nursery early, so we actually got to pay attention for more of the service.  Fun at fellowship time, and then off to the Little Sis's housewarming.  They got an amazing house in Fairfield.  I'm thrilled, because they're happy, and their closer.  This means we can get Kosh and his cousin together more often (not to mention their parents).  Also they have a pool, hot tub and swing set.  What's not to love!

Kosh just about fell asleep on the way home so he was actually asleep at 8.  So of course mom and dad stayed up rather than taking advantage of a chance to sleep, but the laundry got folded, and we got to mostly watch the Hugo award ceremony.

Monday was low key.  We took a slow morning and headed into old town.  Gold Rush days were fun, at least the bit we saw.  Mainly the train museum, and horses.  It was fun to run into BP, but our son has his priorities.

Thus ends relaxing weekends for a couple months.
September is 2 weekends of faire, a book release party, a weekend with the in-laws, and a weekend of gaming
October is 2 weekends of faire, and gear clean up

It'll all be fun, but I'm looking forward to slowing down in November.

In the world of weekdays I'm working along, lunch time exercise is working out.  Kosh seems to be in process of moving from toddler to little boy.  Life is good.
kay_gmd: (fair)
Haven't posted a whole lot lately.

I've fallen off of the zombie walking/running I'm giving myself this week for heat, and hoping to get back on board when the highs drop 10 degrees to mid 90s.

Before I fell off the chases were getting easier, and a coworker had suggested we walk together some times (we did one last week, and I begged off this week).

On Harassment:
There's been a whole lot going around about harassment especially as it relates to Sci Fi/Fantasy/fandom cons.

After reading (probably more than I did) on the subject Groblek looked at me with concern and asked if I experienced this.

My answer is not that I've noticed.

I tend to be excessively oblivious, and more likely to attach bad behavior to a person than to a group.  There are groups and people that I have removed myself from that I found obnoxious that could probably more accurately be defined as harassing.

I also tend to be one of the guys.  To the point where at a meeting at work where we were prepping to present at a public meeting and the discussion of what to wear came up, and the supervisor responded to the question from one of the guys with the suggestion of a nice shirt/slacks and a tie at which point she paused, and said not for you Kay, and I reassured her that I knew what to wear.  I was the only female presenter, but I think it also reflected the fact that I was dressed almost exactly like the other guys in the room.

I'm going to Westercon this weekend, and I'm going to have a harassment lens on because of this.  Hopefully if I see it I'll speak up.

Pondering this has caused me to notice that there are more than 2 males per female at my level in the office.  All 3 supervisors in the office are female, but for my level it's mostly guys it's not a small office, and I wonder why.

Inching into the white collar world.

I've held a desk job for 6 years.  Just recently I've been reexamining a habit that stems at least in part from a more blue collar mentality.  If you see me in person you may have noticed that I almost always have my forearms bare.  I wear long sleeve shirts a lot, and roll or push up the sleeves.  One of the more concrete reasons for this is that my arms are easier to clean and heal than shirt sleeves.  This is still perfectly applicable to interacting with Kosh, but recently I've come to the conclusion that it doesn't make much sense at work.

This started when I saw videos of our group at Valhalla, and thought that I stood out with my sleeves rolled, and has moved into my work wardrobe as I notice that I'm one of few with this particular look.  Of course this week I'm in short sleeves, but I have been wearing long sleeves with sleeves down previously.

Kosh is doing well.  He's been enjoying "swimming" in our not so hot tub, going to the library, and narrating his potty experience.  I'd just as soon not hear this narrative, but if it gets him using the potty I'll take it.

Happy 4th everyone!
kay_gmd: (fair)
So for Father's Day, and because Groblek is taking Kosh off for a week with the grandparents, I took primary Kosh duty all weekend.  It was a generally good weekend.  We had fun at the train museum Saturday (Groblek had fun at the museum too, but missed the train ride).  This was the first time since Kosh learned about the train tables that he's pushed for looking at the big trains.

Incidentally with our membership we can bring in 2 guests.  Let us know if you want to go.

He napped hard!

Sunday we biked over to Dos to take Groblek out for Father's day.  We were thwarted in our attempts to go for desert, and raided the home ice cream supply instead.

By now the guys have probably already headed up towards Occidental, by way of train town.

So far for me that means that I was sans toddler on the morning commute.

I figured that was a great opportunity to get some extra exercise in.  So I pulled up Zombie run, and took a brisk walk to the far bus stop in Davis, and got off in the second stop in Sac, and walked from there.  This was 2.15 mi. in 37 minutes 12 seconds.  Great way to start the morning.  I'm planning on continuing this all week, although I hope to leave a little earlier in the morning.

At this point I want to work on increasing my speed.  To that end I'm activating zombie chases.  These activate, and I have to go faster than my average speed for a given amount of time.  I'm much happier with this speeding me up rather than speeding up for fear of missing my bus.

So far I've Zombie walked every workday since May 20th, and I'm really enjoying it.  I'm about half way through season 1.  Once I run out of episodes I will happily pay for the season pass to get the new ones.
kay_gmd: (fair)
There's a big old discussion about what kind of parent allows their kid at 5 to have a gun, and what kind of company markets guns to kids.

More details here:
http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2013/05/02/boy-shoots-sister-my-first-rifle/2128573/

http://catsittingstill.livejournal.com/283176.html

I'm actually looking at this from a different place.  It seems to me that this is a symptom of the blurring of the coming of age process.  I feel like it used to be that as you grew up you'd earn the privileged of being able to do things.  I remember being really proud when I was deemed old enough for a key, and didn't have to go to the sitter after school.

This is just an impression I don't have any data, but it seems like now instead of any showing of responsibility being how you get allowed to take on new responsibility is more of showing that someone else is responsible enough to get to do it.

I'm sure there are parents who can responsibly allow their children, at 5, to interact with guns.  That doesn't mean that all parents can do it responsibly.

I'm not really sure where I'm going with this, just getting thoughts on the screen.
kay_gmd: (fair)
So I know I'm behind the times, but I read about the Stubenville Rape this morning, and I was incensed.  Really what the fucking fuck.

Cut here for anyone who doesn't want to read about it.Cut here for anyone who doesn't want to read about it. )

Edited to correct these weren't college boys they were high school boys.
kay_gmd: (fair)
Kosh has discovered the "joy" of being Twoish.  That is he's not 2 yet, but he's embracing the concept like an underage frat boy embraces drinking.

He's being loudly bossy, and clearly enjoying doing things that he knows he's not supposed to.  Anyone with spare patience or wisdom is encouraged to send it my way.  Groblek can make his own request. 

We'll work on helping him to make good choices.

This Thursday we got to practice about a half hour early like we normally do (it's when the bus drops us off).  so we were sitting in the green round chair having a bit of dinner when a nice young man (LabWorker) stopped to admire Kosh and chat.  LabWorker hung around while Kosh insisted on heading downstairs and out front of Haring where we caught Groblek heading in, and then headed back up to the practice room and got into almost all of the dances until he had to leave at 8:40 (we had a low turnout so we focused on dances that the newer dancers could do).  He seemed to have a good time and gave us his email to sign him into the yahoo groups.

Quick Resolution update:
Exercise on board I got on the exercise bike less than I wanted to this week, but still got in at least 2 rides
Sweets doing okay the weekend may be a test will see.
Judgement has been tested a bit. I'm beginning to ponder when my behavior invites behaviors that I might judge someone for.
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