kay_gmd: (fair)

Last Thursday I left practice early to attend the part of the board meeting where the board discussed the resolution that "We All Belong: Sfe and Welcoming Schools for All" you can find the resolution here:


Resolution 37-17 (Item VII of the agenda)

I participated in a discussion session where we discussed 5 key points. While I don't have the texts we discussed then, my impression was that these were stronger, and addressed a broader swath of children. I'm glad that the resolution is protective of immigrants and religious minorities because I see these groups as the most threatened right now, but I thought I remembered more general data protection and more focus on LGBTQ+ in the discussion. I fully accept that this is my particular filter, but I'd like it to be stronger there.

I also thought we talked about more concrete actions. This one is much more important. We will need to be watching for the concrete practices and policies that will make this more than a pretty piece of paper.

That said I am thrilled that DJUSD adopted this. It is a strong statement of our community values and it gives all of us pushing for support of all students something to point to. It is our city on the hill beacon that we stand for all students.

I failed to do my homework so I spent a bit of time when I first got there pulling it up and reading it on my phone.

When I got there public comment on this item had begun. All comments were generally positive, with some suggestions for edits.

I was particularly impressed by the statements from the mother and father of the Islamic school (I'm not precisely clear on the meaning of the titles in this context, but these two obviously included parental love and nurturing for their students in the duties).

She spoke with power and articulation and focused on how much more we are similar than different. She quoted Mia Angelo. She wore a full burka. When she started speaking I'd been trying to look something up, and I had to stop to listen because she had that presence.

He spoke more humbly. He spoke of his experience going to high school the day after September 11th. The bullying and hurtful experiences he had, and the teachers who helped him through. Then he spoke of his students, of their needs to be included, and to have time for prayer.

I pray daily, but as a Methodist, there's no particular time that is proscribed for prayers I do it right before bed because that is a time that works for me, but that doesn't mean it is not a real need for others. I was reminded of when we had some Muslim housemates. We helped them move in, and as prayer time came up there was consternation. It was a new place, and they weren't sure which way was east. We managed to find information that covered their need. It emphasized for me how even with our many similarities it is in supporting our differences that we show we are welcoming.

There were many other speakers. Anoosh represented Yolo Rainbow Families well. I was happy to see Montgomery well represented.

The Trustees of the board spoke. There was enthusiasm and word-smithing. The resolution was adopted with plans to edit, but not change the substance.

There were a couple of issues that weren't fully addressed:

How will parents be reached? The parent communications system works reasonably well for me, but there was a notable lack of Hispanic participation in a discussion item which was in large part trying to make sure our students of varying immigration status are welcome. When we had our previous discussion meeting we made some suggestions hopefully good methods will be used. The response when this came up was lacking in specifics, and used an example that overstated the parent board interaction.

How will training get to staff and students? This to me is the real crux of the issue. I'm thrilled that we have this resolution to point to but changing the climate in the schools is the real work.

And the wonk question: what policies will be put in place because of this. This is never exciting or popular, but it is what turns the light of a resolution into the salt that does the work of making the world, or in this case the school district a better place.

Like the Women's March this is a great first step, but it is nearly nothing if we do not follow it up.

Know this.

We are here.

We are watching.

We will roll up our sleeves and work with you.

But this is a great mountain of work that you have set yourselves to do, and we expect you to follow through.
kay_gmd: (fair)
I've been hearing a lot of people saying something to the effect of

"Even if Trump voters arent themselves racist, sexist, homophobic etc, the fact that he was didn't stop them from voting for him! That's a deal breaker for me!"

I have to say as a biracial, bisexual, liberal mother of a gender creative child that makes a lot of sense to me. But after seeing a few of these something was bugging me.

I don't know all the reasons people voted for Trump, and I may be totaly off on this, but an anology occured to me.

If my house was on fire, and a firetruck came zooming up to my house with a giant swastika painted on it I wouldn't even see that swastika until I was sure the fire was put out. or even if I did I surely wouldn't stop the firefighters while my house was still in danger.

Once the fire was out I'd raise holy hell, but I wouldn't, during the fire, have the bandwidth to care.

I'm not hurting in life. I've got a great job, and a great family, and I don't have any fear that this is likely to change. So, to me while this election was urgent. I wasn't going in feeling like my livelyhood was on fire.

It seems like helping people not feel that way would be a good way to help make sure we can focus on the issues that we find vital.

I don't think we can reasonably expect people to focus on the safety of others when they are conserned about there own. There are people who do that. These are great people. They should be praised. They should not be the new standard. If we're honest I suspect most of us don't live up to that. I know I don't.

Mr. Trump has put a spotlight on the people we have not adequately served. It's easy to be angry at them, or doubt their inteligence, or morality. It's even possible that it's right to feel that way. If we want to move forward as a country we need to find a solution that doesn't rely on anyone feel like a lesser citizen. If we don't we may fix the problem for now, but we're just setting it up to get worse for our children.

My impulse is to push the guaranteed minimum income as a part of the solution, but I think one of the areas where government trying to help people falls far short is going in saying we know the solution we'll do this thing that we came up with in our government office. Many of these things do help. But many don't, and even if they do help there isn't buyin from a lot of the community.

What we need to do is find a way to listen to eachother to seek to understand. In this process we're likely to hear a lot of things that set our teeth on edge. We're going to want to shut people down and tune them out because of that, and we can't afford to do that. We need to find ways to understand eachother. My hope is that in that process we will be understood, but the primary goal is to understand. To find the pain, and work together to relieve the pain.

I want to say that we also have pain, and it is legitimate, and it also needs to be addressed.We should work on that too. But the pain of the Trump supporters just added immensley to the rest of our pain. I suggest we focus a lot of our effort there.

We go High!

Nov. 9th, 2016 01:22 pm
kay_gmd: (fair)

It's a tough day today.

I started wanting to write something last night when it started really looking like Trump might win (I had a blessedly meeting filled afternoon, and between that, and taking Kosh to her Daisy
Scout meeting I didn't see results that I took seriously until about 8.

 My first thought in response to a Trump presidency, was to offer Governor Brown help with building the California wall. That was an angry and scared response. In content it's a bigger version of moving to Canada. Take me and mine out of the control of this government with this man at the top of it.

I had various ideas, but my dad consolidated my thoughts. I checked my email this morning, and my dad, who is retired in Thailand had emailed all 4 of us kids with encouragement to move to Canada.

That gave me a target.

This concept is tempting (like a California sesesion would be), but it's really terrifying if you follow it.

It's already too easy to keep yourself in an echo chamber. And in this case most importantly for our governmental leaders to keep themselves in echo chambers.

It would be one thing to run from Germany in the 1930s you could be running to someplace that could reasonably have been expected to be stronger than Germany. The United States is too powerful for that to be reasonable.

Therefore we desperately need everyone who is upset with the election results to stay in the United states, and to get active.

We need to  build relationships across socio economic barriers and across parties. We need to find the areas where we agree, and build movements based on those. It's going to be hard, and it's going to be scary, but it's our best chance to minimize the damage of this presidency.
That said there's no way in hell we're leaving California, My hope is that we're a big enough economic engine that we'll be able to maintain what we're doing.
Love and prayers to all,

This is what I wrote to my family.

That's more or less what I think, although I'm a little torn. There were people who said a Trump presidency would bring the revolution. I'm not 100% sure what that is, but I'm open to that potentially, but I'm tentative.

Regardeless if the next step is revolution or moderation and regroup for 2018 there are some steps I think we all benefit from.

We need to take care of ourselves. In as much as we can we should cut ourselves slack and allow ourselves to vent as we need to. We should try not to do something in anger or grief (or whatever strong emotion) that will haunt us a month from now.

Love and express your love for those we love. Give and get more hugs (or whatever sign of affection is best for the people involved) Make sure our groups know that they are safe, and if there is a real lack of safety do what we can to make it more safe.

As we have spoons/energy we need to be kind and loving to others. Do what we can to show that people are good and loving.

Give ourselves time. Time to think, and plan, and feel.

Be as well as you can be.

My Vote

Oct. 26th, 2016 04:01 pm
kay_gmd: (fair)
So last night the school board candidates spoke at our PTA meeting, which was the last part of my information gathering on this election.
So here's how I'm voting. I think everyone should vote their conscience, but if you are undecided please feel free to vote the way I am, alternately use this and your understanding of me to increase your understanding of the ballot.

One of the things someone suggested at the meeting was to start at the bottom on the local items, and work your way up, so I'm going to run through that way.

Measure H - Yes
I'm a tax and spend liberal, and this will probably concretely benefit my child. It's an increased parcel tx for schools. I actually agree that it would be better if we did funding on a statewide, or even nation wide scale in a predictable way, but until that covers education needs fully I'll probably vote for any chance to fund education.

DJUSD Board vote for 2 - Alan Fernandes and Bob Poppenga
I'm actually excited about Alan. He's focusing on children's health and happyness, and talking about needs of minorities where the other 3 seemed more interested in churning out college students. Bob seemed the best of the 3 talking about building relationships between students of different ages. Jose Granda had interesting points about English language learners, but opposes Measure H, and even if I was going to vote against it I would expect the board to attempt to get the funding. Susan Loveburg didn't adress what she would work on so much as point out that she was a veteran of the board. While I haven't been unhappy with the board so far I'm not voting for anyone who just talks about what they have done without talking about what they will do.

Los Rios - Cecilia Escamilla-Greenwald
She has the endorsment of the entire DJUSD, and that's really all I know about her.

Yolo County Board of Ed - Shelton B. Yip
Experienced educator over a non local lawyer. (I don't have anything particularly against lawyers, but I think educators are better for the Board of Education)

State Assembly - Cecilia Aguiar-Curry
I went for someone more liberal in the primary, but she's the best choice in this election.

State Senator - Mariko Yamada

US Representative - John Garamendi

Prop 51 - Yes
Bonds for schools

Prop 52 - Yes
Continue Hospital fees necessary because the governonr is playing politics with this standard fee

Prop 53 - No
State approval of bonds makes it too hard to stop vital local bonds

Prop 54 - Yes
Legislation public for 72 hours before votes. I don't actually plan to look at any of these, but I want the legislature to have that time, and if we don't insist on it being public it won't happen.

Prop 55 - Yes
extention to taxes for schools and medical

Prop 56 - Yes increased tax on cigarets it seems like a big bump, but it will bring us to parity with other states, and has been shown to decrease smoking.

Prop 57 - Yes
Possibility of early parole for non-violent crimes

Prop 58 - Yes
More flexibility in bilingual education

Prop 59 - Yes
Do something to stop Citizens United. It won't actually do anything, but if it gets a strong vote people can point to it as a sign of what the public thinks.

Prop 60 - No
Porn condoms. The really problematic part of this one is that the enforcement is anyone watching it sueing. Everyone I've heard about it who works in the industry says that it makes them less safe not more.

Prop 61 - Yes
Perscription costs tied to what the VA pays. There's consern that this will hurt the VA's ability to negotiate, and the oddity of doing it as a state rather than nationally. I think with CA as the 5th largest economy in the world state vs national isn't huge. Also this one does allow the legislature to adjust things if it turns out to be problematic.

Prop 62 - Yes
End the death penalty. We've had so many instances where someone was on death row and then evidence came out that proved they were innocent.

Prop 63 - Yes
Background check for ammunition purchase

Prop 64 - Yes
Marijuana legalization

Prop 65 - No
Requires that the fee for bags go to specific funds. Currently the grocery store gets it. In large grocers they may have some profit from this, but in smaller grocers they're taking a loss, and it adds unnecessary buraucracy.

Prop 66 - No
Speed up death penalty. I actually think this would be better than the current system if it would work, but it sounds like it wouldn't.

Prop 67 - Yes
No plastic grocery bags. We already approved this once. The bag makers managed to bring it back onto the ballot. Also we've done it in Davis for a while seems to be working well.

Senator - Kamala Harris

President - Hillary Clinton
In the primaries I voted for and supported Bernie Sanders. I like his policies better, but I was happy to have my choice of 2 candidates that I liked to vote for. She's going to make an amazing president. Also I prefer to stay positive, but I think it is vital to thoroughly trounce Donald Trump. We need to make absolutely clear that he does not represent America. We need to do this to help our look internationally, but more than that we need to show ourselves that we can be better than that.

kay_gmd: (fair)
I'm involved with a parent group online, and like so many while it is titled a parent group it is mostly a mommy group. There are daddys that post, but on this particular post none of the comments apppeared to be from males.

So the post was, and I'm being lazy and paraphrasing:

Argh my husband!
We're trying to have another kid, and I'm ovulating, and we need to have sex tonight or tomorrow night and I suggested sex tonight and he rolled over and went to sleep. He really wants another kid. I want to get it started now so I'm not in my 3rd trimester in the dead of summer. Needed to vent!

This fits well in this group, and seems reasoonable, but then we get into the comments. I know don't read the comments, but it's a facebook group, so half the conversation is there, and usually this group is mostly with the helpful advice and sympathy.

Comments included:
I would have jumped on, asleep or not

Poster:I've explained to him that al he has to do is lie there

Commenter A: Suggest preapproved "taking advantage of"

Poster:He's not getting off that easy

Me:trying to be sympathetic, but if we switched the gender on this it would sound rapey. i thought the rule was enthusiastic consent.

C.A: Does sound rapey. Only started when trying to have child. Even when I push it he could say no/indicate lack of interest. Explicit Consent is hard when your busy.

P: We are both consenting.

Further elaboration

P: not getting off that easy comment just a joke, sorry if I offended anyone else.

It was really this last that got me, and if you've made it this far I appreciate it.

Full disclosure i'm paraphrasing, and probably dropping a lot of the nuance of the conversation, and we didn't have any trouble at all conseiving Kosh.

I grew up in the 80-90s when political correctness was something that came up in conversation a lot more than it does now. It was akward, and it was taken to extremes like maternity leave (seperate from paternity leave) for men. But the pendulum swing on it can be dangerous, and in many areas like this one is more illustrative of a problem in the culture than we want to admit.

One issue is that even though something is intended as a joke that may not be clear to everyone interacting with it. This is especially true of the internet. You don't know whonwill see your joke,and if someone doesn't know it's a joke that someone might look at this as reinforcing a behavior, and that builds the cultural norms. This can be especially problematic around sex related interactions, and with racist, or any other ist you like jokes.

But more importantly what does it say when ts is how we joke?

How did it become funny to threaten someone, or belittle someone. What does it do to our culture, and show to our children when we use threats and insults to make ourselves happy?

This isn't all I wanted to say, but maybe it's enough to let me stop trying to compose it in my head.
kay_gmd: (fair)
On voting:
I absolutely want the things I vote for to win, but I would rather have everyone (even those who will vote against what I vote for, and those who will vote without being informed) vote.

As with most election times most of the people I saw comment on the concept encouraged everyone to vote, and one or two people are like no, really if you don't know the issues don't vote.

Here's my response to that.  I think that it's more important that we all participate in the government if we're going to claime that our government represents the populace than that any one issue is successful.

To me this is about honestly.  In the US we claime that all people are equal, at least have equal rights as far as the government is confirmed.  We know that we're not perfect in our attempts to do that, but we claim that as the goal.

We claim that we are a government from the people and the point where that doesn't mean encouraging everyone to vote that's not government from the people.

On Word use:
At church we are encouraged to fill out cards with what we've done to better the world or be disciples of Christ (I don't recal the precise instructions), but I was filling out a card.

There's been a very nice gentelman begging along my way to drop off Kosh at daycare, and I've given him money a couple of times, and chatted with him a bit more, so I went to write this down, and realized that I didn't know if he was homeless, I mean I wouldn't be out on a bench before 8 in the morning this time of year if I had somewhere warmer to be, butI wasn't sure.

But my brain balked at calling him a beggar.  I went with begging gentleman, but it made me ponder my perception of language. Why would I have no problem identifying someone as homeless, but hesitate at beggar.  I think that it's the difference between the label begar is the identity of the person where homeless person is the situation of the person, but I don't think that's all of it.

Just made me think.

I also hope he is well.  I haven't seen him at all this week.  I wonder if it's related to the switch from daylight savings time, but I worry about him.
kay_gmd: (fair)
So a while ago there was an article about a mom who took her little boy to Walmart with a pink head band on.  Details here:

What the man in the story did was horrendous! He should not have done that!

One of the ideas I got from reading the article and people's comments though is the idea that one should never touch an unknown child. Without thinking I found myself going along with it until yesterday I read this article:


This description of the situation in Spain seems excellent.  I've personally dealt with relatively little of the negative description of American reaction to children, but I have noticed the lack of interactions by many.

I think that culturally we have a tendency to say this one situation came up where this behavior was problematic no on should ever do this behavior.  I know I've fallen into this trap.  I hope that if the walmart incident had happened in a culture more like that described in Spain even if someone had behaved like the man in the story someone else would have stepped up to defend the child.

As part of our lifestyle, and our parenting practice we have developed several villages that Kosh benefits from.  We've actively chosen and thought about our connections to church, Pryanksters, and biological family, but one that I originally didn't consider was our bus commute.

On the bus many riders don't interact with me or Kosh, and it's possible that some or many of them are silently unhappy that Kosh is along, but none have complained or displayed this that I've noticed.

However there are several that have positive interactions with Kosh, and me, but really Kosh is the driving factor.

This collection of bus buddies includes several drivers, and several regulars.

One of them was Liz.  Liz was always friendly greeting many people as they got on the bus, and checking in on how people were doing.  She had a lot of fun interactions with Kosh.  She always sat in the seat closest to the door, because she walked with a cane.  Frequently Kosh wanted that seat, and so we took one nearby, and they'd play the mine game.  She read to him on a couple of occasions, and was generally friendly and interactive.  She was an example of a great way to interact with other people's children.

Some months ago she stopped riding the bus.  We heard that she had caught shingles.  So we looked forward to her return, but yesterday I heard that she had passed away.  She is missed, and Kosh and I are lucky to have known her.
kay_gmd: (fair)
Haven't posted a whole lot lately.

I've fallen off of the zombie walking/running I'm giving myself this week for heat, and hoping to get back on board when the highs drop 10 degrees to mid 90s.

Before I fell off the chases were getting easier, and a coworker had suggested we walk together some times (we did one last week, and I begged off this week).

On Harassment:
There's been a whole lot going around about harassment especially as it relates to Sci Fi/Fantasy/fandom cons.

After reading (probably more than I did) on the subject Groblek looked at me with concern and asked if I experienced this.

My answer is not that I've noticed.

I tend to be excessively oblivious, and more likely to attach bad behavior to a person than to a group.  There are groups and people that I have removed myself from that I found obnoxious that could probably more accurately be defined as harassing.

I also tend to be one of the guys.  To the point where at a meeting at work where we were prepping to present at a public meeting and the discussion of what to wear came up, and the supervisor responded to the question from one of the guys with the suggestion of a nice shirt/slacks and a tie at which point she paused, and said not for you Kay, and I reassured her that I knew what to wear.  I was the only female presenter, but I think it also reflected the fact that I was dressed almost exactly like the other guys in the room.

I'm going to Westercon this weekend, and I'm going to have a harassment lens on because of this.  Hopefully if I see it I'll speak up.

Pondering this has caused me to notice that there are more than 2 males per female at my level in the office.  All 3 supervisors in the office are female, but for my level it's mostly guys it's not a small office, and I wonder why.

Inching into the white collar world.

I've held a desk job for 6 years.  Just recently I've been reexamining a habit that stems at least in part from a more blue collar mentality.  If you see me in person you may have noticed that I almost always have my forearms bare.  I wear long sleeve shirts a lot, and roll or push up the sleeves.  One of the more concrete reasons for this is that my arms are easier to clean and heal than shirt sleeves.  This is still perfectly applicable to interacting with Kosh, but recently I've come to the conclusion that it doesn't make much sense at work.

This started when I saw videos of our group at Valhalla, and thought that I stood out with my sleeves rolled, and has moved into my work wardrobe as I notice that I'm one of few with this particular look.  Of course this week I'm in short sleeves, but I have been wearing long sleeves with sleeves down previously.

Kosh is doing well.  He's been enjoying "swimming" in our not so hot tub, going to the library, and narrating his potty experience.  I'd just as soon not hear this narrative, but if it gets him using the potty I'll take it.

Happy 4th everyone!
kay_gmd: (fair)
There's a big old discussion about what kind of parent allows their kid at 5 to have a gun, and what kind of company markets guns to kids.

More details here:


I'm actually looking at this from a different place.  It seems to me that this is a symptom of the blurring of the coming of age process.  I feel like it used to be that as you grew up you'd earn the privileged of being able to do things.  I remember being really proud when I was deemed old enough for a key, and didn't have to go to the sitter after school.

This is just an impression I don't have any data, but it seems like now instead of any showing of responsibility being how you get allowed to take on new responsibility is more of showing that someone else is responsible enough to get to do it.

I'm sure there are parents who can responsibly allow their children, at 5, to interact with guns.  That doesn't mean that all parents can do it responsibly.

I'm not really sure where I'm going with this, just getting thoughts on the screen.
kay_gmd: (fair)
So I know I'm behind the times, but I read about the Stubenville Rape this morning, and I was incensed.  Really what the fucking fuck.

Cut here for anyone who doesn't want to read about it.Cut here for anyone who doesn't want to read about it. )

Edited to correct these weren't college boys they were high school boys.
kay_gmd: (fair)
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrgh! I had most of a thoughtful post written up Friday when I realized I had to leave to get Kosh and catch the bus. I was hopeful that the autosave function or doing a quick copy before shutting down would have saved it, but no. It's gone. I'll have to try to recreate it.

The first part was about spider love. http://www.zenparentingradio.com/archive/love-is-it-real-or-fake/ This show talked about genuine love, and spider love. I think that this is something I have to fight. Groblek does an amazing job of catching me when I'm doing spider love things, and making me actually express myself and let him know what I need.

Then I was listening to this on Talk of the Nation, and I thought it was really thought provoking. http://www.npr.org/2013/03/04/173440431/op-ed-theres-an-app-for-everything-and-thats-a-problem
I think it's an interesting thing to think about. I think in general apps can be amazing tools, but it is important to be aware of why you're using it. I think it is also important to put down all of our devices and get out and experience life.

Then I was reading this http://everydayfeminism.com/2013/03/silenced-stories-of-survivors-of-sexual-assault-and-abortions/?upw

I'm pro-choice I totally agree that she should have the right to have the abortion, and do so without being harassed. However, because she self identifies as a college educated reasonably comfortable women with good health insurance, I found myself really annoyed that she didn't appear to use birth control.

I'm troubled by this response in myself. It says to me that this is one of those things that EVERYONE SHOULD HAVE THE RIGHT TO DO, but isn't for me. Which is about the way I managed to think about being gay right up until I came out to myself. What does it say that it is okay, but other. Is that acceptance or tolerance.

I was somewhere in the middle of the last bit when I had to leave Friday.

In New stuff to read and share:
Go get it. Read it. Enjoy it and explore the rest of the universe. This is one of the series Groblek and I really like.  The authors aren't local, but we did get to meet them when we got to go to World Con.  They're supper lovely people, and you can follow Sharron Lee at the link, and both of them on facebook.

This is one of several good entry points.  This is an amazing series!  We have all of it, and may be able to lend out books if you get hooked and can't afford to buy them all.

There's a cancer research looking for volunteers.  There are chances to participate in Sac and Davis in early April, and elsewhere as well.  Let's help science work.


General check in:
Judgement has sort of fallen into the back brain.  I'm really just not getting my hands around how to address this.

Exercise is going well.  I've been adding a bit of dancing into my lunch break in the last week, and I really enjoy the idea of keeping it up.  Missed today, but maybe Wednesday (Tuesday's yoga)

I'm underwhelmed by giving up facebook.  I'm not having trouble with it, but it seems like I was wasting a lot of time there, and the result hasn't been to get any of that time back.  I think my attention span has expanded, and I'm happy with that.  I'm probably going to be back after Easter, but not as active.

Giving up sweets.  Still going strong.  This moved to Lent because it was always meant to be temporary and it gives me a handy frame.  I'm looking at limiting myself to one serving of sweets per day once I hit the end of Lent.
kay_gmd: (fair)
First I'm declaring amnesty for last week.  My mom was in town, and my routine was totally off.

On the other hand:
This week I started off today with 10 minute on the bike.  Hopefully I'm back into routine.
In exercise that don't count I've started a game of chase with Kosh.  I run and hide behind a tree, that either wouldn't hide him, or/and I poke my head out, and he chases me.  It gets both of us some exercise, and helps with the fairly regular goal of tiring Kosh out in prep to getting him to sleep.

I've mostly been thinking on the judgement thing:
I got some really good suggestions on facebook:
My SIL suggested that hanging around with people who aren't judgmental would help.  I think this must be true, although so far my observation is the counter example.  I had my annual physical (since it had been since 2010) last Monday, and the doctor who was generally pleasant and professional, got to talking about driving in traffic, and how awful (other) drivers were.  I found myself agreeing and exclaiming about how bad drivers were.  On further reflection, I'm pretty sure I've been that driver for many of the complaints discussed.  So I was actively judgmental in the conversation, but I rescinded internally afterwards, and put some thought into it.  I think the raised awareness will be a benefit to me.

[livejournal.com profile] wondermentalist suggested cutting myself some slack in that we can't really be harder on ourselves than we are on others.

I think she's right, but I don't want to lower my standards for myself.  One of the things that Methodists are exhorted to do is move continually to perfection.  It's always resonated with me.  On the other hand I can look at what I'm judging myself on, and examine if it does reflect moving towards perfection. 

At the same time as far as external judgement however this is still useful, especially since I know that [livejournal.com profile] wondermentalist has some high standards for herself, is to assume that everyone has similarly stringent, but differently framed standards for themselves, so while I'm looking at someone and thinking OMG I can't believe they're using 5 paper towels for that, they're turning and looking at me and thinking OMG I can't believe she's letting her rinsed cup drip for hopefully more important standards.

More pondering, and a LOT more practice necessary.

No movement on the career front although one of my co workers is testing my judgmental resolution, and making me more likely to move forward on the career resolution.  I really miss our old attorney, and not just because I liked her.  She was much easier to work with, and apparently had an amazing store of knowledge, and she was better about making sure she knew what she was talking about before she started talking, and somehow this didn't involve long waits for her to start discussing an item.  I know the new guy is new to this position, he only started in August, so he's even newer than me, and I know that we pile a lot on our attorneys, and I can't even begin to fathom the complexity of the law involved, so I'm sure that he's very intelligent, and a good attorney.  I've just been spoiled by a line of attorneys who I worked better with, and I know I'm at least as hard to work with as he is.
kay_gmd: (Default)
So a while ago a friend of mine put up a post complaining about breast feeding in public.
This has really got me all up in arms, and I'm not really sure why, but that is for another pondering.
My apparently long soap box )
Page generated Sep. 21st, 2017 01:39 am
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios