kay_gmd: (Default)
My grandmother was a wise and wonderful woman, well worthy of immitation in most things. This weekend two of her grandchildren demonstrated that we all sometimes experience one of her weaknesses. Mom, and her sisters would occasionally tweak Grandma about her direction giving, she was known to have said "I thought you were going to turn there."

So first my directional how didn't you read my mind.
A number of Kosh's friends from daycare have moved on to kindergarten or transitional kindergarten or other preschool options, and he missed them so i set up a pool play date at what I thought was Arroyo Pool, for Davisites the pool I was thinking about was the one at slide hill park, Manor pool. I sent out the link to Arroyo pool a couple of times we got to the pool right at one when it opened, and Kosh and Groblek and I had a fun swim for 3 hours as we wondered where everybody was. As we exited the pool Groblek noticed that this was Manor pool. Sigh.... After 3 hours of swimming none of us were interested in going over to the other pool, and i was reasonably sure no one would still be there. So far I've only heard of one family that was at the other pool, but I'm disappointed, because she is definitely someone Id prefer Kosh play with more. He is easily influenced, so I'm developing opinions about his friends.

Sunday was Uncle Mon's turn, (my little brother) we had tickets to the Sausoiito Discovery Museum, and had arranged to meet there, and let the littles discover L is a couple years younger than Kosh, but shes getting big enough to play with, and we want to make sure we make time to build bonds that we all let weaken as we moved from adolescents to our current state. So I sent the link to them and my amazing sister in law read it and thought they should be heading north, but Uncle Mon was sure we were meeting in San Jose, and we didn't discover the confusion until we both got to our separate discovery museums.

So what was planned to be a weekend of social time for Kosh with age mates became a lot of lovely Kosh and parent time. We had a blast, but it seemed like a slapstick weekend.

Also we loved the Sausolito Discovery Museum, and are looking for other chances to go, and I was once again reminded of how much I love being close to the vast amounts of water that are the Bay, and the Golden Gate Bridge is truly amazing up close. We actually walked to directly under it, much fun.

On the other hand Kosh picked out 8+ boxes of stuff to give away Saturday night, and the guys are safely off to grandma and grandpa's place so its all good.
kay_gmd: (fair)
Getting to Westercon
Read more... )

Con and Facility
Read more... )

Read more... )

I have more to write, but I don't know when if I'll get to it.Getting there )
kay_gmd: (fair)
I'm involved with a parent group online, and like so many while it is titled a parent group it is mostly a mommy group. There are daddys that post, but on this particular post none of the comments apppeared to be from males.

So the post was, and I'm being lazy and paraphrasing:

Argh my husband!
We're trying to have another kid, and I'm ovulating, and we need to have sex tonight or tomorrow night and I suggested sex tonight and he rolled over and went to sleep. He really wants another kid. I want to get it started now so I'm not in my 3rd trimester in the dead of summer. Needed to vent!

This fits well in this group, and seems reasoonable, but then we get into the comments. I know don't read the comments, but it's a facebook group, so half the conversation is there, and usually this group is mostly with the helpful advice and sympathy.

Comments included:
I would have jumped on, asleep or not

Poster:I've explained to him that al he has to do is lie there

Commenter A: Suggest preapproved "taking advantage of"

Poster:He's not getting off that easy

Me:trying to be sympathetic, but if we switched the gender on this it would sound rapey. i thought the rule was enthusiastic consent.

C.A: Does sound rapey. Only started when trying to have child. Even when I push it he could say no/indicate lack of interest. Explicit Consent is hard when your busy.

P: We are both consenting.

Further elaboration

P: not getting off that easy comment just a joke, sorry if I offended anyone else.

It was really this last that got me, and if you've made it this far I appreciate it.

Full disclosure i'm paraphrasing, and probably dropping a lot of the nuance of the conversation, and we didn't have any trouble at all conseiving Kosh.

I grew up in the 80-90s when political correctness was something that came up in conversation a lot more than it does now. It was akward, and it was taken to extremes like maternity leave (seperate from paternity leave) for men. But the pendulum swing on it can be dangerous, and in many areas like this one is more illustrative of a problem in the culture than we want to admit.

One issue is that even though something is intended as a joke that may not be clear to everyone interacting with it. This is especially true of the internet. You don't know whonwill see your joke,and if someone doesn't know it's a joke that someone might look at this as reinforcing a behavior, and that builds the cultural norms. This can be especially problematic around sex related interactions, and with racist, or any other ist you like jokes.

But more importantly what does it say when ts is how we joke?

How did it become funny to threaten someone, or belittle someone. What does it do to our culture, and show to our children when we use threats and insults to make ourselves happy?

This isn't all I wanted to say, but maybe it's enough to let me stop trying to compose it in my head.
kay_gmd: (fair)
kay_gmd: (Default)
H: Stabby thing does not get to be a character in Animated Fluff
P: No, that would add to the maturity rating.
H: I don't think anything could add to the maturity of It
P: Okay make it ridiculously R rated

Also must remember to let the ninja rant.
kay_gmd: (fair)

Sorry sketched this out a month ago after questions about the pictures and just got around to posting it.  (Honk shooo is our standard for snoring care of Sandra Boyton).
kay_gmd: (fair)
Animated Fluff 2

Text, because it may be hard to read:
Sorry Toothy. We like you but you're sharp, and cuddly don't mix. Want to dance?

What it should read is:
Sorry Toothy. We like you but you're sharp. Sharp and cuddly don't mix. Want to dance?
kay_gmd: (fair)
Kosh and I commute together on the bus.  The commute involves about a mile of walking. When I sprained my ankle I moved Kosh from the ergo to an umbrella stroller for the walking.  Lately we've been incouraging Kosh to walk, and yesterday Kosh decided he didn't need the stroller. So he walked the whole thing.  He did not enjoy all of it.  Near the end of the section from the bus stop to daycare he really wanted to be carried, and I wasn't a firm no on this, but I managed to encourage him to make it the rest of the way. This mostly involved reminding him of his standing incentive for walking, and encouraging him to view a raised curb as balance beam. I was thrilled that he walked the whole thing, but what I'm really grateful for is that periodically, when it wasn't required to cross the road, he'd just reach up and take my hand, and I just loved walking hand in hand with him.
kay_gmd: (fair)
On voting:
I absolutely want the things I vote for to win, but I would rather have everyone (even those who will vote against what I vote for, and those who will vote without being informed) vote.

As with most election times most of the people I saw comment on the concept encouraged everyone to vote, and one or two people are like no, really if you don't know the issues don't vote.

Here's my response to that.  I think that it's more important that we all participate in the government if we're going to claime that our government represents the populace than that any one issue is successful.

To me this is about honestly.  In the US we claime that all people are equal, at least have equal rights as far as the government is confirmed.  We know that we're not perfect in our attempts to do that, but we claim that as the goal.

We claim that we are a government from the people and the point where that doesn't mean encouraging everyone to vote that's not government from the people.

On Word use:
At church we are encouraged to fill out cards with what we've done to better the world or be disciples of Christ (I don't recal the precise instructions), but I was filling out a card.

There's been a very nice gentelman begging along my way to drop off Kosh at daycare, and I've given him money a couple of times, and chatted with him a bit more, so I went to write this down, and realized that I didn't know if he was homeless, I mean I wouldn't be out on a bench before 8 in the morning this time of year if I had somewhere warmer to be, butI wasn't sure.

But my brain balked at calling him a beggar.  I went with begging gentleman, but it made me ponder my perception of language. Why would I have no problem identifying someone as homeless, but hesitate at beggar.  I think that it's the difference between the label begar is the identity of the person where homeless person is the situation of the person, but I don't think that's all of it.

Just made me think.

I also hope he is well.  I haven't seen him at all this week.  I wonder if it's related to the switch from daylight savings time, but I worry about him.
kay_gmd: (fair)
Just last night Groblek and I were talking about my inability to communicate my needs or boundaries.

I've come a long way, but I still have a long way to go.

This is something I've been working on because I know it will help me to be more completely in relationship with those I love, and model healthy communication for Kosh.

Here's another reason, and it's terrifying:

It's not a quick easy watch, but it's good information.
kay_gmd: (fair)
So I haven't updated in quite some time, but we've been having a great summer!
Camp Faire )

Occidental )

Had a pleasantly calm weekend at home, and then we decided to day trip to Santa Cruz for the Thomas days.
Road tripping )

Yesterday Groblek and I took a recovery day, and saw thingy of the Galaxy.  Very fun! Farmers market ended up our vacation.  Now back into the routine.

Wanted to say that the playground at the Farmer's market is amazing.  They've redone central park and it's fantastic.  It's actually attracted Kosh away from the bounce houses and pony rides.
kay_gmd: (fair)
It's spring verging on summer so I'd choose a park.

For perfect it's got to be better than the every day, so I'm not going to any of the local ones, or even up to the in-laws place which is amazing, because that's all been done.

I want a campsite because that'll have the fire pit, table and a reasonably sized flat space.  I'm not planning on camping, but it'll be great for playing on kicking a ball around, or really, because of course I'd have Kosh along, drawing trains in the dirt.

I'm looking at a place in the redwoods, because I love the smell, and the atmosphere is just calming, and because we don't go out to them much, except at the in-laws place, but this is a different kind of feel.

There has to be a brook near by.  Nothing big, and there's got to be an easy way to get down to it so that we can stick our toes in and splash a bit, but not deep enough for a swim, because then I'd be tempted, and the water would be too cold.

We'd do grilled veggies and meat.  Asparagus is in season right now, and that's great off the grill we could do some zuchini, and eggplant, burgers, and sausages, kebobs with mushrooms and peppers, and of course S'mores for desert.

I don't know if I'll keep this up, but if I did would you want to read it?  Should I start a writing prompt filter?

February 2017

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